Patient Review
by MissMelysse
Summary: A monthly patient review takes on a lot more weight when one of the patients is also a friend. Rated T for discussion of women's health, though said discussion is incredibly vague. CRUSHverse. Data/Zoe implied, though neither are in it. No 'on camera' pairing. Oneshot.


_**Disclaimer:**_ _Star Trek: The Next Generation_ , the _U.S.S. Enterprise_ , and any canon characters or settings belong to CBS/Paramount; the rest belongs to me.

* * *

 **Patient Review**

 **Stardate 46136.69**

 **(Wednesday, 19 February 2369, 21:29 hours, ship's time)**

To a medical professional in Starfleet, life could often seem like nothing more than a series of mission overviews, mission logs, personnel evaluations, and medical reviews broken up by the occasional surprise in the form of a newly 'discovered' alien race or a skirmish in the neutral zone.

It was as much for this reason, as because they were friends off-duty, that Beverly Crusher and Deanna Troi had turned their monthly patient review sessions into a combination dinner meeting / girls' night. They would replicate indulgent foods, keep the wine flowing, and exchange gossip while also reconciling the medical records of the ship's officers, crew, and civilian complement.

"So much for Lt. Gwynn," Beverly said, saving the notes she had just entered. "Next up: Harris-comma-Zoe. You're still meeting with her, aren't you?"

"Actually," Deanna replied, her tone pointedly casual, "Zoe fired me the other day."

" _Fired_ you?" the redhead was incredulous.

"As her counselor, yes," the dark-haired woman confirmed. "She said she was 'burnt out' on therapy, and that what she really needed was a friend she didn't have to censor herself with, and I concurred."

The doctor paused, "Should I not mention that she was in sick bay for a UTI then?"

Deanna shook her head, smiling. "I'm still in charge of the department. A UTI? Really? "

"Just a mild one." Beverly smiled ruefully. "I guess we can stop wondering how 'intimate' her relationship with Data really is."

The counselor's response was slightly smug, " _Some_ of us don't have to wonder." More seriously, she asked, "Did you truly believe that their relationship wasn't fully intimate?"

"Dee, Zoe was my son's classmate. And Data, for all he's the consummate professional on duty – "

Understanding dawned in the Betazoid woman's dark eyes, and she finished the other woman's thought for her. "-the combination of his inherent reserve, incessant curiosity, and apparent guilelessness leads us to treat him more as we would a child or a pesky younger sibling than the adult he truly is."

"Something like that," the human woman said, visibly chagrined. Then, with comprehension dawning on her face she continued, "You've had this conversation before."

"A version of it, yes."

Beverly's expression made it clear that she knew exactly whom that earlier conversation had been with. "And how did the captain respond to being called a bigot?"

Musing, Deanna countered one question with another. "Is it bigotry or just anthropomorphism?" But in her more professional mode of speaking she revealed. "He was a little bit defensive, and a little bit embarrassed, but we agreed to continue discussing it."

"And have you? Discussed it?"

"Not exactly."

Amusement evident in her tone, the doctor commented, "Didn't think so." She changed the subject slightly, growing wistful. "I remember getting a few UTIs when Jack and I were first together, or after he'd come home from a long assignment. You know they used to call these things 'honeymoon cystitis?'"

The counselor laughed. "I wouldn't mind a case of that. Actual honeymoon optional, of course."

Beverly's laughter joined the other woman's. "Of course!" But after a beat, her tone turned wry "You realize we've just doomed ourselves?"

"Doomed? How so?"

"Isn't it obvious, Dee? We're measuring our sex lives against that of a couple that defies competition."

Troi's humor-laced "Oh?" was accompanied by a lifted eyebrow.

"Think about it: he's an android, and she's eighteen. Their picture should be in the dictionary, next to the word 'stamina.'"

Laughing, Deanna agreed, "You're right, Beverly. We're doomed."

Their laughter continued, co-mingled, for a few moments longer, until Beverly grew suddenly sober. "How is Zoe, though? _Really?_ "

Also serious the counselor answered, "She's doing remarkably well, even considering her bobble last week. We've agreed that she'll see Counselor Billings once a quarter just to check in, unless there's something emergent that warrants immediate intervention. She isn't ever going to be completely 'better,' but I'd say she's stable, and continuing to improve."

Their shared silence spoke volumes about their mutual affection for their android colleague's young partner, but Beverly gathered herself, and took the lead in moving on. Making a few more notes on her padd she asked, "Alright then… who's next?"

"Ensign Hartnell," the counselor supplied, refilling both of their wine glasses from the bottle they'd replicated earlier.

"Right! The one who has to re-do his security rotation because is froze in a phaser drill last month…"

* * *

 **Notes:** Runs parallel with chapters two and three (not yet posted) of _Crush III: Sostenuto._ The conversation with Captain Picard happened in my one-shot _Counseling Sessions._ This was originally just a three-line snippet that I posted to a few friends, but when I was typing it into email (in script format) on my phone, it sort of… grew. "Honeymoon Cystitis" is a euphemism for a severe UTI caused by too much sex (yes, this is a real thing).


End file.
